Listen Before Your Next Networking Event: Why Most People Get It Wrong

4 days ago
5 min read

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You leave these events exhausted. Your feet hurt. You've been talking all day. You've probably had one too many coffees.

And then you still go out at night—because it's never just the event. It's the dinners. The drinks. Seeing the same people you only see at these things. People flying in from everywhere.

Somehow, even if you're exhausted, you still go. Work hard during the day, play hard at night. And then you wake up the next day thinking: how am I doing this again?

If you're a service business owner who goes to networking events and wonders why nothing ever comes from them, this episode is for you. Because most people are doing it completely wrong—and they don't even know it.

In this episode of Branding Momentum, we're talking about what actually works at networking events, why the room itself is the wrong place to focus, and what separates people who get results from people who just collect business cards.

People talk about networking like it's a fun, casual thing. Like you just show up, talk to a few people, and magically something happens.

No. That's not what it feels like. That's not what it looks like from the inside. And honestly, most people are doing it completely wrong.

What I Hate Most About Networking Events

I'll be honest with you. The thing I hate most about networking events is not the walking—although side note, I used to bring two to three pairs of shoes because these exhibition halls were long. You're on your feet all day. Multiple shoes, non-negotiable.

It's not the long days really. It's not even the small talk, and I hate small talk.

It's the show-off. Everyone's trying to sound bigger than they are.

Everyone is performing. Everybody's trying to look like they belong more than the next person.

And you're standing there thinking: are we actually talking right now, or are we just performing for each other?

And then you see it. Someone who was just laughing with a person two minutes ago goes behind their back, poaches their contact, their competitor, their client. Ruthless. Oh, the things I've seen at these events.

The showing off is one thing. But the performing? That's the part that actually kills it.

Because you can smell it from across the room. And so can everyone else.

Most People Show Up With No Plan

Here's the thing. Most people show up to these events with no plan at all.

They walk in. They look around. They jump into whatever conversation is happening. Hope they somehow end up next to the right person.

And that's it. That's the whole strategy.

No structure. No idea who they actually want to talk to. No thought about what happens after. Just vibes, getting a feel for the room.

And then they go home wondering why nothing happened.

What It Looks Like When You Actually Have a Strategy

I've seen this on both sides. Because when I was going to these events, I wasn't just attending—I was exhibiting.

Which means that by the time I got there, I had already sent out I don't know how many emails before the trip. Meetings already booked. Our schedules were fully planned. A list of specific people we needed to see because we'd done the research and tried to find out if those were the right kind of potential clients we wanted to meet.

We knew what we wanted to say before we walked through the door into that networking event.

There was a whole system behind it.

While many people were walking in hoping, we were already executing what we'd already planned. And our strategy was actually working.

That is a very different experience of the same event.

Yes, Organic Conversations Happen Too

And yes, I know once you're there, things happen. You meet people you didn't expect. You have conversations that weren't planned, that were just organically happening. And sometimes those are actually the best ones. I admit that.

But let's be honest: most conversations at these events go nowhere.

You talk. You laugh. You exchange details, maybe a card if people still do that.

And then nothing.

Because following up is where most people completely fall apart.

They were so focused on the event itself—on being impressive in the room, on having the right thing to say—that they forgot the conversation doesn't end when you leave.

That's actually when the conversation really starts.

Where Things Actually Happen

Here's the part nobody wants to hear: The event itself is not where things happen.

It's just where everything you did before actually shows up.

The meetings that actually mattered? Already booked before you got there.

The people you had real conversations with? You already knew you wanted to meet them.

The leads that turned into clients? They didn't come from walking around hoping something would click. They came from what you did after—when you were back home following up, being specific, remembering the conversation well enough to make it mean something.

The Real Issue: Everyone's Performing

Let's go back to the performing thing, because I think this is the real issue.

Most people treat networking events like an audition. Like if they just say the right thing, look impressive enough, name-drop the right clients—something will happen.

It won't.

Because the people worth meeting at these events have been doing this long enough to see through it immediately.

They're not looking for the most impressive person in the room. They're looking for someone real.

Someone they actually want to work with. Someone who doesn't need to perform.

And that person is incredibly easy to spot—because everyone else is so busy performing.

You're Focusing on the Wrong Moment

When people tell me "I need to be better at networking, I need to say the right things, I need to work the room," I always think: you're focusing on the wrong moment.

The room is not where it happens.

It's what you did before you walked in.

Who you already knew you wanted to meet. What you were going to say and why. Why you were going to say that.

And what you do the moment you get home—before you forget, before the energy of the event fades, before it becomes just another trip you went on.

Networking isn't a performance. It never was.

The ones who get it right are the ones who figured that out before everyone else was still busy showing off.

Ready to Stop Wasting Time at Networking Events?

If you're tired of leaving networking events exhausted with nothing to show for it—wondering why you spent all that time and money for conversations that went nowhere—I can help.

Through my private consulting work, we'll build a system for how you approach events: who you target before, what you say when you're there, and how you follow up after so conversations actually turn into clients.

Because networking isn't about working the room. It's about having a strategy before you walk in and executing after you walk out.

Learn more about private consulting

The event itself is not where things happen. It's just where everything you did before shows up. Stop performing and start planning.

👉 Hit follow so you don’t miss what’s next. If you’ve been consuming everything and moving nowhere, this episode of Branding Momentum will help you see why nothing’s broken and what needs to be removed instead.

I’m Veronica Di Polo, a marketing strategist based in Moraira, Spain, helping service-based business owners get leads with words that sell.

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